I’ve been thinking about taking on a writing project for a while, but when I sat down to contemplate what knowledge I could impart to the world, I drew a blank and began crying into my Malbec. At that moment, I realized the answer was right in front of me! What am I an expert on? Booze! Well, not like how to make it or what the best kind is or anything, but I know how to drink it. And I know the culture. From bar etiquette to historical facts to hangover remedies*, this is my calling.
What are my qualifications? Well, I won’t cite my Irish roots because that’s too easy and too obvious. Let’s blame it on growing up in the 70s and 80s in upstate New York, when the drinking age was 18 (at least until 1985, thanks, Mario Cuomo) and people weren’t as psychotic about their health as they are today. I’m not saying excessive drinking is an ideal life choice, but let’s concede there is a middle ground between the dude sleeping in a puddle of Popov on Ninth Avenue and the Crossfit scolds in your office who joylessly sip quinoa smoothies and give you the side-eye at happy hour because beer isn’t Paleo.
For some of us, booze is something to be enjoyed at a level just slightly above moderation – somewhere between feeling happy and falling out of a cab, not that I have any experience in the latter, no siree. Anyway, I have a lot to say on the subject and I look forward to sharing my insights with you in the coming weeks.
Until then, enjoy this classic Larry Miller video about the Five Levels of Drinking:
Do you have any good drinking stories? Share in the comments.
As always, thanks for reading and have a great day!
*Yeah, there is no remedy for a hangover. Any claim to the contrary is bullshit. (Although Revive Vitamin Water and saltines can certainly help.)