Boozy Tuesdays: Brandy, You’re a Fine Horse

Here’s a fabulous idea for your next party. Instead of a keg or a punch bowl (do people still even have punch bowls??), think outside the bottle and provide your guests with the finest Armenian brandy in the finest of vessels: a glass horse.




“But wait!” you say, “The holidays are coming!”

Don’t worry, I have your Christmas party covered:

It's a brandy reindeer! (Obviously.)

You’re welcome!


I suppose I should explain how I found out about these. My friend’s dad gave her the brandy horse for her birthday (which we named, creatively enough, “Brandy”), and I thought it was so fantastic, he gave me one at Christmas. (We him named “Randy.” [Reindeer + Brandy – are you sensing a theme?])

Randy is SO special, I have vowed not to open him until I win my Tony award or until NYC is hit by a dirty bomb and I have to shelter in place, whichever comes first.

I just googled these guys and all I didn’t realize there were so many to pick from! I want them all. Especially this one.

So what’s your favorite incarnation of Armenian brandy?

As always, thanks for reading and have a fab day!



Boozy Tuesdays: Industry City Distillery

Hey Y’all!*

This week, in the interest of science, I left my apartment on a Saturday and trekked ALL THE WAY to Brooklyn to tour a vodka distillery. (Of course the only thing that could get me out of my borough on a weekend is the promise of alcohol.)

It was pretty interesting, I guess. I was excited to learn that there is a point where alcohol can’t get any stronger through distillation. Or something. Science isn’t my strong point. In case you’re wondering, it’s around 191.2 proof, or roughly my BAC Monday morning after the Mets lost.

In addition to learning about fermentation and chemistry, you get to taste the vodka, which tastes like…vodka. They also make gin and limoncello and you can buy a handful of delicious cocktails and some snacks (empanadas, mostly. I didn’t try them). You can also buy stuff to make your own limoncello, although why you’d wanna do that when you can just order from Drizly, is beyond me. But hey, maybe you’re not as lazy as I am.

In any event, even though I am more of a wine person who only occasionally dips into hard liquor (at open-bar events, natch), Industry City Distillery was a fun way to kill a Saturday afternoon. (And possibly, some brain cells.)

*I just finished watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix and I’ve been channeling my inner Mrs. Coach Taylor.

Boozing in BK

Boozing in BK


I'll drink to that!

I’ll drink to that!

Pink drinks are the best drinks!

Pink drinks are the best drinks!


Distill my heart!

Distill my heart!


Every distillery needs an adorable kitteh.

Every distillery needs an adorable kitteh


A drink with a view.

A drink with a view

Boozy Tuesdays: Introduction

Liquor? I don't even know 'er!

Liquor? I don’t even know ‘er!


I’ve been thinking about taking on a writing project for a while, but when I sat down to contemplate what knowledge I could impart to the world, I drew a blank and began crying into my Malbec. At that moment, I realized the answer was right in front of me! What am I an expert on? Booze! Well, not like how to make it or what the best kind is or anything, but I know how to drink it. And I know the culture. From bar etiquette to historical facts to hangover remedies*, this is my calling.

What are my qualifications? Well, I won’t cite my Irish roots because that’s too easy and too obvious. Let’s blame it on growing up in the 70s and 80s in upstate New York, when the drinking age was 18 (at least until 1985, thanks, Mario Cuomo) and people weren’t as psychotic about their health as they are today. I’m not saying excessive drinking is an ideal life choice, but let’s concede there is a middle ground between the dude sleeping in a puddle of Popov on Ninth Avenue and the Crossfit scolds in your office who joylessly sip quinoa smoothies and give you the side-eye at happy hour because beer isn’t Paleo.

For some of us, booze is something to be enjoyed at a level just slightly above moderation – somewhere between feeling happy and falling out of a cab, not that I have any experience in the latter, no siree. Anyway, I have a lot to say on the subject and I look forward to sharing my insights with you in the coming weeks.

Until then, enjoy this classic Larry Miller video about the Five Levels of Drinking:

Do you have any good drinking stories? Share in the comments.

As always, thanks for reading and have a great day!


*Yeah, there is no remedy for a hangover. Any claim to the contrary is bullshit. (Although Revive Vitamin Water and saltines can certainly help.)