It’s almost Thanksgiving, which means it’s almost time for NBC (or maybe it’s ABC) to show everyone’s favorite schmaltzfest: The Sound of Music.*
Okay, fine, so maybe I kind of love it (but don’t tell anyone). It does, however, raise some questions, which I addressed in this post from 2006.
The Nazis in the Sound of Music have to be the dumbest Nazis ever. Do you mean to tell me they posted guards all over the auditorium during the festival but no one was watching the door? And didn’t Max get punished for so obviously helping the von Trapps escape? And why weren’t the nuns immediately taken to a concentration camp after they dismantled the Nazis’ cars? The only Nazi who showed any initiative was Rolf, and it was probably just because Liesl refused to, shall we say, “deliver his telegram” in the gazebo that night.
Lessons I’ve learned from the Sound of Music
-The Nazis in Salzburg in September 1939 just didn’t care
-When you’re sixteen going on seventeen, it’s best not to get involved with Nazi youth because they will turn you in at the end of the movie unless you put out
-Governesses are man-stealing bitches (just ask the Baroness)
-While a stiff drink and a lap dance may be among the captain’s favorite things, they are not part of the song
-No one, and I mean no one, knows how to solve a problem like Maria
-The hills may be alive with the sound of music, but it could also be those mushrooms you ate
Perhaps not my best effort, but something to think about while you’re digesting turkey this year.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful Monday.
What is this? Back in the day, I had a blog. It’s long been abandoned, but I think the world deserves to hear my wisdom anew. And I was also a lot crankier back then, so if you have a moment, why not go back in time and give 2006 Kate a hug.